Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis and Depression – Invisible Illnesses

12 Feb
I’ve been very lax with my blog.  I’m not going to make any promises to post daily or weekly, but I’m going try and make at least one post each month. . .
 
 

I woke up this morning, at about 5am, with a sore back and sore left shoulder, so it looks like the memory foam mattress, that we got a couple of weeks ago, isn’t going to help with the fibromyalgia after all.  The pain got gradually worse, and then the endometriosis decided to join in.  I am so sick of being in pain every day, and I mean every day. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t in pain, either with the endo or the fibro, or both.

When I managed to get out of bed, an achievement in itself, I couldn’t walk properly.  If you can imagine a very old person, bent over, wearing their old, worn out, slippers, shuffling along, then that’s how I was walking.  Mind you, I normally walk a bit like that every morning, bar the bending over.  My legs are stiff and painful, my belly is cramping, and my shoulders and arms are aching.  Being in pain all the time wears you down.  It’s exhausting.

And now the depression is starting to take hold.  It’s a horrible feeling, knowing the signs of the black dog nuzzling at you.  The tears sneak out at the slightest thing, but not because of the actual pain itself.  Knowing that there’s no cure for the illnesses I have.  That, even though I take the painkillers, and use a TENS machine, I’m still in pain, ache, feel stiff, weak, exhausted.

I was told that getting all of this out of my head, and onto paper, can be cathartic.  I hope it is, I really do.

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4 Responses to “Fibromyalgia, Endometriosis and Depression – Invisible Illnesses”

  1. Helen 18,February 2012 at 06:19 #

    I know exactly how u feel….. I have suffered with endometriosis for many years, and the last few years just generally feeling unwell. I have been on painkillers for afew years now and after numerous tests couldnt find anything wrong with me….. Docs said have the hysterectomy for the endo which I did,late last year,but still suffer pain and still on painkillers. Doc referred me to a Specialist and they have diagnosed me with fibromyalgia! So since last week I have started prestiq 50mg in morn, endep 10mg at night, I have a pain patch(norspan) 20mg for pain and to try to get off panadine forte which I take 8 a day! And trying to reduce! So I understand your pain, and frustration, and your sadness 😦 ……. I still manage to work 4 days a week as a beauty therapist for now, and only because I’m living on pain killers can I keep going. I felt like a hypochondriac for so long….. At least now I have a name fir what I have been feeling…. I hope u feel better soon or at the very least learn to manage the pain so u can lead a normal life…,.,.,,

    • TTD 18,February 2012 at 16:33 #

      Thanks Helen. I agree that having a name for all the symptoms did help me feel a bit better, but it was short-lived. I seem to get new symptoms every few days now; or maybe that’s all in my mind, and I would have got the new symptoms, whether I had the diagnosis or not :-/

      I hope you manage to get some relief from your pain soon. . .

  2. Helen 18,February 2012 at 19:56 #

    Thankyou so much for your reply! Finally someone who understands! It’s not in your mind it’s REAL… That’s the problem with fibro because u can’t see what’s wrong. I had a doc in emergency say to me quote….( you dont look sick) after they had to give me 2 morphine shots for the pain! This morn I still work up early with pain in my back and am still having to take pan forte even while I have the pain patch! I feel like I’m addicted to these pain killers and maybe that’s why they don’t work 😦 anyway thankyou for this blog and thankyou for the reply….

  3. Jessica 22,August 2012 at 03:33 #

    I feel your pain 100% I go through the same thing all the time. I can’t remember the last time I was not in pain. I am 26 years old and am suffering with endomitriosis. It’s very depressing, and extremely painful. I cry a lot, and wish for the pain to disappear and never return. It comes and goes, but when it triggers I could barly move. I find being in the feet hold position, and literally tapping and pinching my abdomen helps a little, but it takes a few minutes before I can get a little relief.
    It really sucks, and I wish you the very best. God bless you.

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