The Treadmill of my Mind

9 Jun

Depression and anxiety.  I have them both, and I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy.  Well, maybe on this present Government, for an indeterminate time, just so they know what it’s like to be scared to leave the house, or answer the phone.  How you can’t concentrate, on anything, for a nano-second, and just want the world to go away.

Since I’ve been on medication, the levels of my depression and anxiety change from day-to-day, or even hour to hour.  This particular day had been a fairly good one, but it was starting again.  You might know the feeling.  Your mind starts going into overdrive, so that your thoughts are rushing around so much that you can’t concentrate, or think about any one thing.  Your mind is busy, busy, busy, like white noise.

But wait!  I was noticing that it was starting – wow!  Normally, I would be deep in the middle of the downward spiral feeling before I realised it, but this time I had caught it before it had taken root, and started spiralling out of control.  How had this happened?  W.R.A.P., that’s how.  I had been on a Wellness Recovery Action Plan course at a mental health charity in June 2009, and I had started to learn how to recognise my internal warning signs of the start of becoming unwell.  So, what to do?  I got my W.R.A.P. folder out, and I started looking through it, to remind myself of the various techniques I could use to help myself stop spiralling down.

I tried visualising the   sign, but that didn’t work.  If only my mind would stop racing.  Racing, hmm…  That got me thinking about running, which in turn made me think about being on a treadmill.  My mind was on a treadmill, which was switched on to extra fast mode.  Perhaps if I visualised slowly turning the speed down on the treadmill, I could slow down my thoughts and, in turn, break down what had happened to make my mind go into overdrive.  So that’s what I did.  I imagined turning down the speed on my mind’s treadmill, and, one by one, worked on each thought that had got me into that old familiar state.  I rationalised each thought in turn, and, in time, my mind cleared.  I had done it.  I had taken control and regained my wellness, all thanks to my W.R.A.P.

For the first time in my life, I now look forward to a being on a treadmill!

If you are interested in finding out more about W.R.A.P. look here.

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2 Responses to “The Treadmill of my Mind”

  1. meinsideandout 12,June 2011 at 22:09 #

    Beautifully Written Entry and also great you are Promoting Awareness for W.R.A.P too 🙂
    You are strong and am so glad to call you a Friend
    Much love to you x

    • Tricia_TD 13,June 2011 at 11:51 #

      Thank you 🙂

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